1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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