Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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