bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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