is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Congratulations! We have a period
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