He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
