Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
