I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
