Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
