Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize