So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
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Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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