can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
