well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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