I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
