I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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