Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
