I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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