I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
