Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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