that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
