So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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