omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"