Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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