oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
