How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
