11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
