Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
