do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
