Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
