is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
