You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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