i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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