Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
