he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
