Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
