That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
