More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
