I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
