i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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