i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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