I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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