Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
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so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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