so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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