I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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