Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
