my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
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DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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