Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
