There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
