She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
50% drunk capacity currently
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
