Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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