he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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