So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
