did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
