The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
