your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
