just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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