1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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