just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
