So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
