dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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