not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
they need to just BURY HIM!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
