you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
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Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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