I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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